Parent Tips for Helping Children & Teens Create Healthy Friendships

Friendship is a vital part of development, providing support, companionship and a sense of belonging. However, making friends can sometimes feel daunting, especially for young people navigating the complexities of adolescence and the teenage years. These are some suggestions that parents can use when talking to their children about the best ways to make friends and build meaningful connections.

Be Yourself

Authenticity is key when it comes to making friends. Encourage your child to embrace their unique interests, quirks, and personality traits. When they stay true to themselves, they attract friends who appreciate them for who they are.

Find Common Interests

Shared interests provide a natural starting point for friendship. Encourage youth to explore their hobbies and passions, whether it's sports, art, music, or gaming. Participating in activities they enjoy increases the likelihood of meeting like-minded peers.

Be Open-Minded

Friendship can come in unexpected forms. Encourage your children to be open-minded and approachable, welcoming the opportunity to connect with people from diverse backgrounds and perspectives. Emphasize the value of learning from others and embracing new experiences.

Practice Empathy

Empathy is the foundation of meaningful connections. Encourage your child to listen actively, show genuine interest in others' experiences and offer support when needed. By understanding and empathizing with others' feelings, they deepen their friendships, foster trust and build camaraderie.

Initiate Conversations

Initiating conversations can be nerve-wracking, but it's a crucial step in making friends. Encourage your children to start small by asking open-ended questions, offering compliments, or sharing a funny story. Remind them that everyone feels a little awkward at times and the more they practice, the more comfortable they will feel over time.

Be a Good Listener

Being a good listener is just as important as being able to express oneself. Encourage your child or teen to give their full attention when others are speaking, ask follow-up questions, and validate their feelings. By showing genuine interest in others, they will strengthen their connections and build rapport.

Communication Skills 

As parents we can create opportunities to practice meaningful communication by setting aside device-free times, such as family dinners, to engage in open and honest conversations. Practicing active listening and effective communication techniques to ensures everyone in your family feels valued and builds important friendship skills.

Cooperation

Engage in collaborative activities and projects as a family to promote teamwork and cooperation. Encourage children to take turns, share responsibilities and appreciate the contributions of others, fostering a sense of unity and collaboration.

Emotion Regulation

Help children and teens learn to recognize and manage their emotions in healthy ways. Provide support and guidance during times of emotional distress, teaching coping strategies and problem-solving skills to navigate challenging situations.

Apology and Forgiveness 

Teach children the importance of taking responsibility for their actions, making sincere apologies and offering forgiveness to others. Model the behavior you wish to see by acknowledging your own mistakes and demonstrating genuine remorse and forgiveness.

Be Kind and Inclusive

Kindness goes a long way in fostering friendships. Encourage youth to be inclusive, reach out to those who may be feeling left out, and stand up against bullying and exclusion. By creating a welcoming environment, they create opportunities for meaningful connections to flourish.

Remain Patient and Persistent

Making friends takes time and effort. Encourage your kids to stay patient and persistent even if they face setbacks or rejection along the way. Remind them that building friendships is a journey and each interaction brings them one step closer to finding their community.

Friendship is a valuable asset in child development, offering support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. By being authentic, embracing common interests, practicing empathy and initiating conversation, young people can build meaningful connections that enrich their lives. Remind your children that true friendships are worth the effort. 

Your Child's First Phone and Access to Social Media

In today's digitally-driven world, the question of when to give a child their first phone or allow them access to social media is a pressing concern for many parents. Consider your child's maturity level, responsibility and need for communication. Many parents choose to introduce phones when their children begin activities or situations where they may need to contact them. Numerous psychological studies support the idea of delaying access to phones and social media until eighth grade. One notable study published in the JAMA Psychiatry found that adolescents who spent more time on social media reported higher levels of internalizing problems, such as depression and anxiety. Another study published in JAMA Pediatrics linked higher social media use to increased risk and severity of depressive symptoms among adolescents. By delaying access to social media, parents can protect their children's mental health and well-being during a critical period of development.

The Importance of Social Skills

One of the key reasons for delaying access to phones and social media is to prioritize the development of essential social skills. Research suggests that excessive screen time can interfere with children's ability to engage in face-to-face interactions, empathize with others, and build meaningful relationships. By delaying access to phones and social media, parents can encourage their children to develop strong interpersonal skills and foster deeper connections with peers and family members.

Promoting Real-world Experiences

Delaying access to phones and social media also encourages children to engage more fully in real-world experiences and activities. Studies have shown that excessive screen time can detract from time spent on hobbies, sports, outdoor play and other enriching pursuits. By limiting screen time and delaying access to phones and social media, parents can encourage their children to explore the world around them, develop new interests, and cultivate a healthy balance between online and offline activities.

Setting Limits and Boundaries

Establishing clear rules and boundaries around screen time is crucial for maintaining a healthy family dynamic. Encourage regular breaks from screens, prioritize face-to-face interactions, and designate screen-free zones and times, such as during meals and before bedtime. Collaborate with your children to create a family screen time plan that works for everyone. Set clear guidelines for phone usage, such as no phones at the dinner table or during family time. Additionally, engage in open conversations with your children about online safety, privacy, and responsible digital citizenship.

Monitoring Content and Social Media

With the vast amount of content available on the internet and social media, it is essential for parents to monitor and regulate what their children are exposed to online. Social media platforms often have age restrictions for a reason. Before allowing your child to join social media, ensure they understand the potential risks and responsibilities involved. Consider their emotional maturity, ability to navigate online interactions safely, and willingness to adhere to your family's guidelines for social media usage. Familiarize yourself with parental control settings and software that can help filter inappropriate content and track your child's online activity. 

Managing screen time, phones, and social media is a complex but essential task for parents. By setting clear limits, monitoring content and engaging in open communication with your children, you can help them develop healthy screen habits and navigate the online world safely. Remember, every family is unique, so find strategies that work best for your family dynamics and values. With forethought and open communication, parents can empower their children to make informed choices with regard to social media usage as they become young adults.

How Can Parents Improve Self-Esteem in Teenagers?

Negative self-esteem can significantly impact the well-being and development of teenagers, affecting various parts of their lives including academics, social interactions and mental health. On the other hand, positive self-esteem plays a large part in the psychological well-being and personal development of teenagers. It empowers teens to navigate life's challenges with confidence, resilience and optimism. It ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and rewarding life.

Signs of Negative Self-Esteem in Teenagers 

• Teenager’s experiencing negative self-esteem may engage in excessive self-criticism and negative self-talk. They may focus on their perceived flaws and shortcomings, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.They may withdraw from social interactions and isolate themselves from peers. This may lead to a fear of rejection or judgment from others. 

• Negative self-esteem can also impact academic performance, teens may doubt their abilities and feel incapable of achieving success. They may avoid taking on challenges or pursuing academic goals due to fear of failure. Negative self-esteem can drive teens to pursue perfectionism as a way to validate their self-worth. They may set impossibly high standards for themselves and become overly critical when they fail to meet those standards.

• Poor body image and dissatisfaction with physical appearance may correlate with negative self-esteem. Teens may compare themselves unfavorably to others, leading to body shaming, disordered eating behaviors, or excessive exercising to try to change their appearance. Some teenagers may engage in risky behaviors as a way to cope with their negative feelings. This can include substance abuse, reckless driving, or delinquent activities.

• Some teens exhibit signs of mood swings, emotional instability and a heightened sensitivity to criticism or perceived rejection. This could lead to bouts of sadness, anxiety, or anger. In severe cases, this can contribute to self-destructive behaviors such as self-harm or suicidal ideation. Teens may feel overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, leading them to contemplate or attempt suicide as a way to escape their pain.

It's important for parents to be aware of these signs and symptoms and to provide support and intervention when necessary. Building positive self-esteem in teenagers involves fostering a supportive home-life by promoting self-acceptance and encouraging healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with challenges and setbacks.

Tips for Parents to Promote Positive Self-Esteem 

Create a supportive environment

• Foster open communication and establish a safe space for your teen to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Listen actively and validate their experiences without dismissing or minimizing them.

Focus on Strengths 

• Help your teen identify their strengths, talents, and accomplishments. Encourage them to pursue activities that are enjoyable as well as activities that they excel at, whether it's sports, arts, academics or hobbies.

Set Realistic Expectations 

• Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on your teenager, instead focus on setting achievable goals. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate progress along the way.

Promote Healthy Lifestyle Habits

• Encourage your teen to prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition and adequate sleep. Physical health and well-being are closely linked to improved mental health and positive self-esteem.

Provide Positive Reinforcement 

• Offer praise and encouragement for your teen’s efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small. Recognize their strengths and affirmations, reinforcing a positive self-image.

Seek Professional Support if Needed 

• Negative self-esteem can present significant challenges for teenagers but with parental support and guidance, it is possible to foster a positive self-image and promote healthy development. If your son or daughter’s negative self-esteem is significantly impacting their daily functioning or mental health, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in adolescent and teen issues. Professional intervention can provide valuable tools and strategies for building self-esteem. By implementing these tips and seeking additional help when needed, parents can play a crucial role in helping their teens build confidence, resilience, and a strong sense of self-worth.